Pay attention to your emotions

Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow these emotions to be expressed, they will do serious damage.

But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our emotions, we discover that they don't last. The monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat. In fact, if we are willing to experience our emotions completely, without resistance of any kind, they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.

The only thing that keeps emotions alive within you over long periods is your unwillingness to acknowledge them.

"By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it." -- Joseph Collins

This piece comes from my coaching mentor Dr. Randin Brons in his "Idea Engineer" and was made real through a client meeting I had this past weekend and my own "remembers when’s" that were triggered.

When I hit a wall at 46, I certainly had all kinds of emotions; emotions I could not clearly identify or deal with. I found ways to escape them and most were personally destructive.

Learning how to identify and deal with emotions was a learned skill; learned through working with trained professionals. It was as if a whole new world opened up to me and I can smile today as I think back to those early days when I sat my family around the table and said things like "what colour do you feel?" to them! behaviour!

Today, I can identify emotions and feelings, welcome and accept them, and deal with them in a healthy way. Life is far more balanced and fun today, and in dealing with my emotions in a healthy fashion, it is far easier to avoid mood altering substances and

CART BEFORE HORSE?

Last week, in his "Idea Engineer", my friend and mentor Dr. Randin Brons wrote about the importance-wrongly- that people put on money. This week’s article builds on that thought.

The old adage- what comes first, the cart or the horse? - comes to mind.

I am reminded by fellow coach Phil Evans of the following truth. The most common 'theme' that I introduce to new clients when working in the Life Coaching realm, is the critical importance of being true to oneself!　 It's just so darned easy to get into doing everything for everybody else, but sadly neglecting that important person in the mirror.

Yep, too darned easy to put everybody else first; and eventually something will kick our butts as it tries to alert us of the need to look after that person also known as ME!

That something can often be health issues; depression; anger; sadness and moodiness; and a variety of other stuff.

We all need to be aware of the importance of looking after ourselves holistically: creating a healthy approach to our Mind/Body/Spirit balance and general well-being!　 All three aspects need to be in sync with who we are, and what we're doing, and where we're headed.

Very important note: This doesn't mean that any of us should suddenly give up doing good things for others; quite the opposite actually!　 It simply means to aim for a healthy balance in doing things for self AND others in a manner which still serves the inner-self and our own needs; and not just the needs of others. (Free daily balance checklist at www.hopeserenity.ca).

So here's the challenge: What's holding you back from making those important decisions for YOU; and then acting on them?　 Maybe it's time that you cut those strings that bind you to a job that you hate; a relationship that doesn't serve you; a health issue which has been left unattended; your financial situation; .... Or whatever it is that's testing you right now.

C'mon .... you can do it!
Yell out if you need some help!　 (I'll see you ... or hear you!)

TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

S...t happens; there is no doubt that this is true in my life and yours. We have no control over most things external to ourselves!

The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We do not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the historical period in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do not select them, but we can choose how we will react to them, and in that choice lays our freedom and our responsibility.
Instead of complaining about the hand we've been dealt, we can concentrate on playing it well. This is the way we exercise our freedom. What might appear to be random chance can take on meaning and purpose as we delve for insight and use our deficiencies as opportunities for growth.
Our responsibility is to do the best we can with what we have where we are. And we don't do it alone. We have help in learning how best to respond. We have a support group, we have a Higher Power, and we have an inner guide if we will listen for direction.

Need some help in how to respond to deal with your response to "happenings" and "circumstances"? Give us a shout.
Today, I will remember that "the what" of my life is not as important as "the how."