One of the biggest heistations people have when they start a new business is approaching friends and family members about it. Nobody wants to work with family and friends because they're too judgmental, they're trying to protect you from yourself, you've burned bridges with them, or any number of other excuses that we regularly bring up. Indeed, I have found that we have these excuses better rehearsed than we do our presentations on the products and services we offer, which may explain why we don't do well in approaching our friends and family.
I used to buy into the concept of not prospecting family and friends, but I recently sat down and really thought about, and what marketing is supposed to be about, and realized that people who don't approach friends and family members really are wasting one of their most potent resources when it comes to launching and growing a business.
What I have found from my own experience is that I was hesitant to contact people I'd been in touch with about other deals, and people who I only called when I was selling something, and that made me think that it wasn't that friends and family are not great resources, it's that I had done nothing to nurture those relationships over the years, so that they had essentially become worse than strangers. At least strangers don't feel neglected when you only call them to sell something.
I also realized that I was approaching them improperly, which was immediately putting them in a defensive posture, which of course made the entire exercise unproductive. I knew that I had done a poor job here, and that I had only myself to blame for it, since I did nothing to improve the situation.
The fact is that your unwillingness to approach people you know is a problem that requires a remedy for reasons unrelated to your business. If the relationships you have are not strong enough for you to rely on them then you simply have not done enough to deserve the attention and support of the people you know, and you need to change that. And, consider that if you did a poor job in the past you're probably perpetuating that right now with people you are just meeting, which makes the problem even worse.
I am as guilty as anyone of letting my network lie fallow, and the only difference between me and so many others is that I admit it, but more importantly, I'm doing something about it. I've made a commitment to adopt a plan to redevelop, grow, and nurture the relationships I have with others, unconditionally. What I mean by that is I'm going to do it whether it helps my business or not, because it's the right thing to do. In the back of my mind, I know that going through this exercise will help my business, but that's not my primary motivation right now. I'm going to go out this year (this is not a New Year's resolution - I hate those things) to see how many people in my network I can be of service to first, before I ask them to do anything for me.
I'm also commited to developing and re-developing the skills necessary to create win-win relationships with the people I know, and will meet this coming year. And, this time next year, I expect to report back on my results. I already know what the results are going to be, and that makes me more excited than I've been about anything in a long time.
Now, I would recommend that you not wait until my year end report to do something yourself about your own network. I'd love to have some "workout partners" on this exercise, so that perhaps the stories we could tell next year would inspire that many others. So, if you're interested in joining me on this networking journey, let's get started. It doesn't cost you anything except the ability to motivate yourself to do something you know you should be doing anyway.
If you're interested in this project and being part of it, all you have to do is get out and do it, and if you'd like to be in contact with me about it, feel free to email me at glenn@glenngarnes.com. I'll work with you, or just root for you whichever you prefer. I would also suggest that you join the Perfect Networker community by subscribing to our e-Newsletter on the front page. That will keep you in the loop, and provide you with continuing resources and support for this very worthy project.
Good luck to everyone this coming year in whatever you commit to do. I hope nurturing your relationships with others is one of your priorities!
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Posted by
Glenn K. Garnes on 12/28/2005 at 07:40 AM